Lula Trafton stole my debit card number Lula Trafton stole my debit card number

On February 24 I started receiving email to an address that doesn't technically exist, but is very similar to one I used to order a magnet online two weeks before. I own the domain the emails were sent to and I have my mail server configured to forward anything unknown so I can inspect it. When I started getting insurance quotes for Lula Trafton at this address, I assumed that it was run-of-the-mill spam. But then an email came in from a junk pill seller. It was an invoice containing my physical address, phone number and last 4 digits of my debit card.

I called my bank and canceled the card immediately, then spent the next 20 minutes tracking Lula down. Here is her personal information:

Lula Trafton
226 Warwick Dr
Pittsburgh, PA 15241
412-835-9397 (day)
412-835-9761 (evening) (OOS)
DOB: 06/14/1982
Drives a 2006 Jeep Liberty Limited
Lula rents her home

The owners of the house and the first phone number above are old enough to be Lula's grandparents. I'm guessing that's exactly who they are.

Owner description: Regular-Etux Or Et Vir
Fair market land value: $64,400
Fair market total value: $336,600
County assessed value for land: $64,400
County assessed value total: $321,600
Local assessed value for land: $64,400
Local assessed value total: $336,600
Assessment for tax year: 2010
Sum of area of land: 81,152 square feet
Land use: Single Family
Tax status: Taxable
Class: Residential

Architectural style: Old Style
Number of stories: 2
Year property was built: 1939
Exterior wall: Stone
Roof: Shingle
Basement: Full
Grade: Very Good
Condition: Good
Total rooms: 9
Bedrooms: 4
Full baths: 4
Half baths: 0
Heating and cooling: Central Heat with AC
Fireplaces: 1
Garage for: 2 cars
Total living area: 4,153 square feet

And finally, detailed switch information for the 5ESS that serves Lula's phone:

Information on: BTPKPABPDS0
State: PA
English Name: PGSZ 12
Switch Type: WECO 5ESS (Digital)
Host CLLI (if remote): N/A
Status: N/A
LATA: 234 (234)
Exchanges Served: 5
Street Address: 5112 Library Rd
Bethel Park, PA
Lat/Long: 40.33786, -80.02563
V/H Coord: 5643, 2176
Tandem: N/A
SS7 Point Code: N/A
Served Exchanges: 412-831 412-833 412-835 412-851 412-854
Served Rate Centers: PTGSBNZN12, PA
Served Companies: VERIZON PENNSYLVANIA, INC. (9208)

I hope you enjoyed shopping with my card, Lula. And thank you for being so fucking stupid about it that I was able to put a stop to it before you actually bought insurance.

I'm sorry that you were too fucking stupid to enter your VIN correctly on any of the sites where you started entering vehicle information, though.